In life, do you face the hard truths or do you run from reality?
Sometimes I’m not likable to some people because I say the truth and I say what’s on my mind.
I’m not filtered.
I say certain things that maybe aren’t politically correct.
My wife Elena tells me the reason some women don’t like my brand is because I sound like I don’t filter anything.
But I’m honest with others because I’m honest with myself.
Let me explain:
Being honest with yourself is where all success starts.
I’ve got to get honest with me before I get honest with the rest of the world.
I hear people every day say, “Ah, I don’t have enough time.” Really?
How many hours are in a week?
These people reply, “Ah, I don’t know.”
Dude, you’re not even being honest with yourself.
The first thing you’re saying is I don’t have enough time. But you don’t even know the calculation yet!
You’ve got plenty of time.
You’re not doing anything with it.
If you are late, don’t blame it on the traffic.
You’re late because you didn’t leave soon enough.
Be honest with yourself first and then being honest with other people is going to be simple.
You can’t be motivated if you’re not honest with yourself.
I am dealing with me every day, you’re dealing with you every day.
So the first thing that you and I must do to stay motivated is to get completely honest with ourselves.
- What’s our potential?
- What are we capable of?
- How much can we do?
- What am I capable of doing in 15 minutes?
- How many phone calls can I make?
- How much of what I fear is actually what I am not willing to do?
- What are the things that I need to do that would actually make me bigger, better, stronger, and more capable of providing for myself, my family, and my business?
We all have our own little honesty meter that calls us out on our own dishonesty.
It’s that little pang we get when we hit the snooze instead of waking up to exercise.
You know when you are not being honest with yourself, where you aren’t living up to your own standards, and it affects your motivation.
50% of marriages fail because people aren’t honest—not only do they lie to their spouses but they lie to themselves.
Here’s what I want you to do:
Find the good in others and acknowledge it.
I acknowledge the good in people.
But I also acknowledge the unacceptable.
If someone is doing something wrong or making excuses, call them out on it.
Be real with people, they may resent you but deep down they’ll appreciate your honesty.
I was with my mother when she died, and I told her the truth.
I walked into my mom’s hospital and I’m like, “have they told you what’s going on?”
She replied, “No. What do you mean Grant?”
I said, “Has anybody told you what’s happening now?”
And she’s like, “No.”
I said, “Well, what do you think is happening?”
And I was the first one that had the conversation and got her to say, “I’m gonna die.”
And I’m like, “That’s right. That’s what’s happening now.”
It was the hardest conversation I’ve ever had with anybody in my life.
And it was like, “You’re going to die. This is what’s happening.”
My sisters didn’t have the conversation with her.
I said, “We got, I don’t know, 12 hours. 18 hours. 20 hours. That’s it.”
I don’t want to drag it on cause I know she doesn’t want it to drag on.
She’d always told me, “Hey, look, when we get to this place, don’t let this thing drag out. I wouldn’t want it to drag out.”
I asked, “How do you want to die because you’re going to die. That’s what’s happening.”
She’s like, “I know, I know.” And then boom, she got it. Nobody was playing the denial game anymore.
And so I’m like, “how do you want to die?”
She asked, “What do you mean?”
So, I said, “Do you want to stay here?”
She’s like, “I don’t want to stay in this hospital.”
I said, “Good. Where do you want to go?”
She wanted to to be in her house.
“All right, good. Do you want me to get a car to pick you up? Do you want to drive home?”
Then we got to the house. I just walked her through all of the pieces. “Where do you want to be?”
She said, “Let me sit in the living room.”
So, with cancer, her internal organs were shutting down now.
I let her sit for a couple of hours.
I said, okay, “Where do you want to finish this?”
And she’s like, “In my bed.”
I took her into the bedroom and later at about 11 o’clock at night, about 30 minutes before she finished, she’s like, “I’m scared.”
No doctors were in the room while she passed.
I am not a positive person when it comes to understanding that people die.
I didn’t lie to my mother and pretend she wasn’t dying.
I understand that life is hard and that there’s evil.
I confront it.
What did she teach me?
My mom tried to talk me out of most everything I ever did…because she was negative.
She was a mother and it’s a mother of love to protect, right?
The problem with that was that protecting usually goes against risk, but you need some risk to win in life.
My mom didn’t have a lot of dreams, but I don’t think she lived way below her potential.
She was a fifties housewife and my mother lived for her children.
Here’s the honest truth:
I know my mother made a mistake putting the kids first—that was a mistake for her.
What should she have done? She should have put herself first.
Because she was more worried about 5:00 PM feeding five little kids than her own dreams.
When I watched my dad die, he left her to run everything because he died suddenly.
She never dated again.
And she was only 38.
You can’t be happy just living for kids that are going to move out, you know?
So, what advice would I give to women about following their dreams?
All people, men AND women, should be more greedy about their personal dreams.
My mom had the responsibility of five kids…
But she also had the responsibility of herself.
Like, how can I—if I can’t take care of me—take care of somebody else?
And this has always been my battle cry.
I have to take care of me first before I can have success caring for others.
If I’m broken, how can I help anyone?
When I was coming out of a treatment center for drug addiction, I didn’t need to help anybody else. I needed to get on solid ground.
Just keep slowly taking care of your neighborhood until you’re in another zip code.
Do what you say you’re going to do and do it as fast as you can.
Be honest with others—but be honest with yourself!
And let’s be real, if you’re honest, you know you’re DREAMS matter to you.
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